Thursday, July 07, 2005

Here it goes:

I'm going to try to post some new things in here. its been awhile since my last post and i feel i have neglected my duties as a blogger to all my readers (the 3 i May or May not have *lol*)
I am still very clean, i haven't even drank a drop of alcohol in like a month as well as being clean from drugs for like 2 maybe even 3 months. YAY go me!!
My brother has my twin Austin and I miss him so much he is my lil guy and i miss him but i don't deserve him, not right now anyway. I've been a bad parent and i know that. I don't deserve him until i can straighten out my life a little bit better.
I also have an online diary at http://www.opendiary.com/madnesscalls I hope that link works, there you will find some enteries that just may fill in the blanks here.
I have a bad habit of starting something, getting it going and then forgetting about it. its because I dont get much feedback and i'm sure nooone reads these things anyways so i just tend to forget about them.
I'm into writing poetry again and have a few good ones since I last left you all.

My medication dosage is going okay, because i had been off of my meds for so long starting them up again has made me one agitated human being. I take 1500 mg of depakote a night along with 50 mg of visteral its suppose to help me sleep and help with the anxiety..it helps somewhat w/anxiety but doesn't help me sleep (anymore) at least i'm not breaking out in rashes all over my skin anymore so thats always a good thing.
I don't have that many friends...at least right now anyway. i talk to ppl but i hardly hang out with anyone except deb. (debbie is my cousin CJ's wife) CJ is currently incarcerated in the South Carolina State Prision system though he is due to get out in August. I hope so cuz, i know she misses him dearly and im sure he misses her too.
There is no new love interest in my life at this time, i've made a few "friends" here and there but thats about it.
so on that note i will end this here, please feel free to give me some feedback, it helps motivate me into writing more.
more of my boring life from the state of South Carolina..the most backwards state in the whole U.S. of A.
*LOL* J/k.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Just wanted you to know you are not alone out there. I am bi-polar 1 with pyschotic features, anxiety and agoraphobia. Also, I suffer from post-partum depression. Our daughter is 6 months old and was taken from me in the hospital by CPS due to several circumstances beyond our control. I was not medicated during my pregnancy and must say I basically had a pyschotic break down before getting back on my meds. I wish you luck and hope all goes well for you! I have a bright future and know you do too.

8:05 PM  

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